neck 3 July 2008
I had an email from a regular wondering if I might actually NEED the stress to get by – er, no – I am definitely not a stress junkie and could certainly do without it, thanks very much. Anyhow I had plenty to take my mind off all that today as I did my neck in – so we have upped the ante now and are dealing in actual physical pain…nice…
It happened in the most innocuous way. I was slumped against a large and very comfy cushion on the bed this morning, dealing with the early emails, and very bent over the laptop as a result, and when I got off the bed the neck was ‘gone’ along with the top bit of the back, too.
I’ll be honest, I have terrible posture and sit at a range of unsuitable tables on unsuitable chairs to write, so there is always a niggle there.
I have been inclined to take great delight in blaming the nuns for my bad posture over the years saying that I used to bend to hide the fact that I’d grown a chest during my teenage years, but I rather suspect I am just a bit of a lazy-backed slouch.
I have attached a heat pad and know how to make a roll from a towel to support my head, courtesy of a friend who has a bad neck (a LOT worse than mine) – she says my muscles are spasming hence the discomfort. On top of that I am hoping that my usual miracle worker SLEEP will deal with the rest. All tips gratefully accepted.
I have been stuck to CRIMINAL JUSTICE all week on the BBC – isn’t it just fantastic?!
all out to get me 2 July 2008
If I believed in conspiracies (and I may after this) I would have plenty to go on at the moment. anything that can go wrong is doing so…with a little help from it’s friends.
eg number 1 – Richard is sharing my old laptop at home, by way of a house computer. I made the terrible mistake of commenting that he could change the language to Russian at the mere touch of a button, so he did. He was delighted and i was delighted for him but pointed out that everything was to be left as he originally found it as I use the thing when he’s not there and am a luddite. All understood (very much so as pain of death etc was mentioned, as usual, and he knows I mean that) So all should also have been well. Seems the computer has had other ideas, though. In spite of a little Irish flag symbol top right to signify that English is the preferred language (and believe me in Ireland that’s contentious enough as a statement, as officially our native tongue is Irish, or Gaelic, if you will) the system has decided to leave some sites in Russian. As a result my instructions for getting into a site that has opted to stay in English, largely, may be in Russian till I have logged on. You’d‘ve thought this might be beneficial to my slipshop study of the language but as I cannot read or pronounce the cyrillic alphabet very well it ain’t helpin’ much.
eg two – the electricity for the downstairs area is tripping off every few minutes. I cannot run two appliances at once, nor (crucially) the dishwasher by itself – DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN ABOVE, should there be one, NOT MY DISHWASHER! – I love my white goods, I really do, and will go into decline altogether if anything stops the dishwasher from making me happy every day of it’s working life. I dare not even think of what life would be like if it barred the washing machine from working. An electrician will be summoned toot sweet.
eg three – my email systems on both sides of the Irish Sea are fecked and I am having to invent ever more twisty ways of getting into them.
eg four – the fake tan is still hangin’ around in patchy areas and like the FOOL that I am I actually bought a different make today in the supermarket as proof that experience will never win out over hope in my stupid life. I will never learn. I deserve all I get.
On the plus side, did some okay-ish writing today (that is also to say I did actually get some writing done which is of itself a good thing – huzzah). Doesn’t quite balance out the mania of the rest of things but it was welcome all the same.
tea 1 July 2008
I do love a cup of tea, though for years I found it hard to ask for one after having been THAT splendid woman on television. Now, I don’t really have too much time for fruit teas as they always smell nicer than they taste, though a cup of fennel tea (which I am now enjoying before bed, is always lovely – guess it’s more herbal though). Anyhow, I have never taken to green tea – white tea, yes, but green tea not. Today a friend gave me a new sensation from Japan (new to here, probably been known to Japan for centuries) and I will try it and let you know what it’s like. I may have to stick with it awhile as she has given me a latte version of it that Richard assures me is the most vile thing he has ever tasted (and he loves green tea). I will stick with it though as apparently it’s way higher than most other foodstuffs in antioxidants and so on AND it stimulates the metabolism without raising blood pressure…which means…it may help in weight loss – sing hallelujiah and forget pu-erh (which I love but keep forgetting I have in the cupboard – oops, have just spotted why this latest one may go by the wayside compared with my regular builder’s tea which I never forget. Mind you, if it’s as vile as Himself says, perhaps I’ll be reminded to have it by dint of that, like it was a vital-slash-medicine type thing that’s good for you yet disgusting.
For those of you who were wondering YES am still polka dotted – I fear GLUE may have been one of the ingredients of the fake tan I maimed myself with. If we regenerate totally every 8 years I guess there’s a chance I’ll be clear by my 54th birthday – a cheering thought.
confidence 30 June 2008
I was with the Stockwellians last night and we got to talking about confidence. My sis in law is worried that they may be bringing the kids up to be too modest. I know what she means. You meet a lot of people who talk the talk – mind you, if they can’t walk the walk to back it up you’d hope they’d be found out and exposed as total charlatans (unless they are fabulously endearing and doing no harm or not getting too much in the way and entertaining with it and great to have around and somehow then it’s almost forgivable and not a sackable offence, if you know what I mean). I have always found that in London, particularly, you are sometimes required to talk yourself up and it’s not a thing that comes naturally to most (nice) people. But you can get a bit distracted by that talk and not be able to see the merit from the hype. I am glad that my nephew and nieces are slightly laid back and unpushy (oh, now, they have their moments of kicking up and off but not in a generally awful lookatmelookatmelookatme way).
My crisis is still hanging around like a bad smell but I am dealing with it in a slightly better way..I think. And I am edging forward with the work (though it’s all SHITE in my opinion – mind you, what do I know about anything at the moment?)
To underpin it all, I look like a battered woman right now. I keep bumping into awkwardly place packing boxes in the house and I bruise REALLY easily. The legs and arms are WOUNDED. It’s just more of the self-harm we should have spotted when I had that disaster with the tanning lotion last week – that was the start of it…But, hey, that’s also that bitch Hindsight, easy for that to be 20-20 vision when the thing is done. Duh.
Boyzone 29 June 2008
All hail Boyzone. I was at their Dublin gig last night and it was great. I had the wonderful experience of being in a play with Keith Duffy a couple of years ago (the wildly successful Dandelions by Fiona Looney) and I am a total fan ever since. Actually I was a fan beforehand too – used to love him in Corrie, for example. He is honestly one of the nicest, best guys around. And he was super last night – a star, actually.
It must be a total thrill to perform in front of such a huge crowd. And I know from being in such a crowd that it’s a total thrill to be a part of it from that end too.
Nights like that you thank whoever thought up showbiz for having such a nuts and brilliant idea.
relax 27 June 2008
I let it get to me today, which was a waste of the morning, certainly. Then I just had to knuckle down and get on with things, as to ignore them would make the situation a lot worse. Basically, I need an extra sneaky month between now and July, though little hope that miracle will occur. That extra time would sort things. Although simply having more time at my disposal is not quite all that’s needed. I suppose the worst of it is that I had a major crisis of confidence about matters artistic today. I could not see a way of going forward and had a splendid ‘I am a worthless piece of shit’ few hours. Of course, that was also a wallow and nought got done. So, this afternoon I took to the attic – the lads have moved into the house earlier than expected so I was simply in their way moping around downstairs – and there is nothing to do in that attic except pet the cat, tell her the noise and the burly men are okay, and write…which is what I did. I don’t feel that much better about things but at least I have something to show for myself, of whatever quality.
End of self indulgent wallow, I promise.
Besides there’s more writing to be done and the house is still waiting to be packed away downstairs.
Oh, and we’re all going to die – this is the jag that Richard likes least as there is no comeback from it…cos we are…but it makes me laugh (in a really dark way) to bang on about it and a laugh is a good thing, no matter what. Actually I am beginning to titter about that now, in the deliciously melancholic way that I think the Irish share with the Russians, because nothing, really, is funnier than utter misery and the human condition…
Yep, quite happy now. Crikey perversion is good stuff at times.
death 26 June 2008
I found the body of one of my birdy visitors in the garden this evening which was sad. It was the thrush who’d recently turned up. I can’t tell how it died – I do wonder if it might have been ill as it used to stand SO still for long periods of time but more likely is that a cat got it. I doubt it was the G as she’s a bit long in the tooth and too lazy, really, to be out catching game. We seem to have 2 wild lads who come by and hang from time to time – they have figured out the cat flap, no problem at all to them, and are happy to come in for a bite to eat on the sly. And perhaps one of them caught the bird and left it as an offering? They can’t have been hungry cos none of the birdy was eaten. So RIP Mr or Mrs Thrush – hope there was no extended family involved, facing into the season without a parent now. Life’s harsh. Ditto nature.
sharing 26 June 2008
I found the writing workshops over the last 3 days strange and wonderful. It’s odd to be working in a group as I usually write alone. And there are such a lot of things to be decided in a short space of time which is also odd for me – I usually get to spend a year or so on a book and find things out about my characters and their situation at a more leisurely pace. Mind you, there is nothing leisurely about the novel writing right now as I am determined to finish toot sweet. I feel like I have been writing this book for a decade. I sort of feel like the tv writing has infused me with a sense of speed though so fingers crossed that it will have the desired effect. Other than that I will have to get the cat to walk across the keypad by way of help…
polka dotted p 25 June 2008
Thanks to all of you who have shared horror fake tan stories and tips – I am exfoliating and moisturising like a maniac who exfoliates and moisturises a lot…still dalmationish – well, actually more like a brown and white cow but hey ho.
there was a word missing from the blog below – should have read ‘far as i’m concerned’ in there not ‘as i’m concerned’ which was foxy but a little too oblique – this laptop likes to wipe as I correct which is unneccessarily helpful and leads to such arty nonsense. What I WOULD like it to do, helpwise, is let my internet access work again with my roaming mouse thingy but it is very against that now, for no apparently good reason – I went to bed a few nights ago and all was well and in the morning it had taken the hump and decided never to cooperate again with that particular system again…such attitude!
joinedy uppy 25 June 2008
I wish I could tell you that when I tried to join up the VERY LARGE dots of false tan it worked = it SO did NOT – feeling now was ROBBED in duty free
And that is, surely also, the triumph of history over all our dreams, ( as I’m concerned).
It is WEIRD to see so many dots over my body. The bits that are tanned, by the by, are a total success and look lovely.
I have had facials that have left worse excavation marks – certainly feeling the beauty ‘technician’ knuckle down was PAIN…
but
does anyone know how long I will have to wait till it fades?