guilt 1 June 2008
I am SO sorry. How it happened was this – I spent a LONG day getting from London to Dublin (quick trip to feed The G Cat), a bus to Kilkenny then attended a few comedy gigs (was allowed a few beers = hooray!) and as I was getting ready for bed, said to Richard (yes, we are in the same town and see one another from time to time) ‘I mustn’t forget to do my blog’… cut to this morning at 6am bolt upright in the bed and ‘Argh I didn’t do my blog’. Apologies.
Got sleeeeep, though not too many hours all in a row but there was blessed opportunity to roll over and go back to the slumbering = bliss = am a little perky and dangerous now.
Was reading about Davina McColl being estranged from her mother and not going to her funeral eventually. And I was reminded of that hair commercial she does where she’s apparently having a happy conversation with her Mum about going grey and covering it up…so now we know (as if we hadn’t suspected already) that that weren’t her mother on the end of the telephone line. It made me think of the nonsense that occurs in advertising sometimes. I did a little demo once for an ad about driving adventures in my Dad’s van when we were kids (forget the proposed product now). I wrote it myself, as requested, and did the voiceover and it was a true story. When it came back from the agency they wanted to ‘spice it up’, make it ‘funnier’ and basically change it utterly and I thought this would be wrong for my family as they’d be getting feedback about it constantly while it was on the air, so I said ‘no’ and then the agency wanted to write a completely fictional one, also pretending it was my family and again I said no, more emphatically, for the same reasons. I think it’s wrong to involve people who have no comeback for what you have said or done.
So there now.
beans 30 May 2008
Noticed some photos of food art in the papers over the last few days created to celebrate the launch of repeat tv programmes or summat becoming available on ipod – horribly jealous, as Dara O’Briain was recreated in curry and beans for the Have I Got News For You picture – that guy’s got it made…
Did some lovely birthday shopping with my 2 London nieces (the younger, Ellie, is 11 today) and was struck all over again about getting older and wanting 1) not to be getting older and 2) wanting to protect the heck out of those gorgeous gals…crikey, this ‘worrying about humanity’ thing will not go away (and it is still making me a lil bit blue) but hey we’ll get on with it.
Had some good laughs at work as well as with my young ladies this evening so tis a light and pretty blue that enshrouds me.
I shall get 7 1/2 hours sleep this night, I tell ye, or the dawn need not break on the morrow.
And what does that hold, Pauline? I hear youse ask.
Well, since you are curious, an early start to get a plane to Dublin and then journey to the Cat Laughs Comedy Festival in Kilkenny where I shall enjoy many’s the laugh (possibly score 8 glorious hours of slumber, uninterrupted? tho will accept 8 interrupted ones if that’s all that’s on offer) then back on the Monday to London’s Town for more of The Filming. While writing all the way, of course – easy peasy
lucky 29 May 2008
Got to talking about luck today. I really think it’s an element in every life, whether we like it or not (and I, for one, wish that it wasn’t, but there you go). There is no controlling it, you see. I do believe that work is rewarded some of the time but if it’s allied with luck it’s going to be all the more so. In my end of the acting business I believe it’s better to walk around the wrong corner at the right time than the right corner at the wrong time.
One of the producers on the film used to work as a headhunter and did a gig with a major bank once. After a post was advertised, and the mail in, he sat down with one of the executives and, without opening any of the reply envelopes full of CVs, she put every second one in the bin. When he asked if she was afraid of eliminating a good candidate she said ‘this bank doesn’t employ unlucky people’.
Good day’s filming today, I think. I got decent enough sleep last night, ate and drank sensibly throughout the day, grabbed a TINY shut-eye after lunch (I must have continental or cat blood in me as I do love an afternoon snooze) and I am now going to attempt to get, wait for it, 8 hours sleep (!) before the morning’s early pick-up….OOOOH, I am ACTUALLY scarily excited by how early I am going to bed (I feel lucky to be doing so). If this makes me a saddo, so be it…night night x
you lot 28 May 2008
You lot are divine. Thanks so much for all the pep-talk emails and advice about how to tackle the weary blues. I have followed as many as possible today.
I was in bed all ready for a GREAT sleep when my mum called last night. I must admit I initially put the call straight through to message box (never tell her or I am a dead woman) but she rang again immediately and I was worried it might be something urgent so i answered. As you all know I was snippy with her at the weekend and feeling guilty about that too (and worried in general about her and the state of the world and how we treat the people in it and so on and so forth). Turns out she was in great form and we had a lovely chat and she’s doing me and Rich and the G cat a lovely favour over the weekend. Grand job, as they say, though I didn’t hang up on that one for a good 20 – 25 minutes so I realised I was not going to get 8 hours, which dampened things a little, and just as I was dozing off I got a text and hadn’t silenced the phone so that meant I was awake again for another while. A good sleep, when it came, but less than I’d‘ve liked and I really did fear that it’d be another grey day of weariness.
Signs were good early on, though, when I spotted a place near the location called Uneeda Drive and it made me smile (we’re still pre 7am here). I ate well (as had been advised, including bananas) didn’t drink too much caffeine, and in the middle of the afternoon I had a little time off and actually fell asleep on a handy bed at the location (it’s usually used for filming but was empty and unattended at the time = hurrah!) I don’t think I was out for longer than a few moments but I think the very act of letting go really counted as total rest and I felt good afterwards. Not the worst of days at all, at all. The work went well too, I think.
I shall attempt to repeat same tomorrow, cutting myself some slack also (more advice) and although some of you also said ye wouldn’t mind if i didn’t do a daily blog for a while I can’t go there – the guilt would be too much and besides I want ye to know how things are going. THANKS SO MUCH again for bothering to contact me and it’s really good to know you are all out there also getting by – we can all only do our best, eh? And we are all trying, too**. Hooray for us.
**yep there’s a cheap gag there about us all being very trying but, you know what – feck the gag
lines 27 May 2008
The learning of lines takes place, largely, in the hour’s car journey to the set at the crack of dawn and during lunch, just in case you thought I had time to burn during the filming day…
I would love to know how the Hollywood types stay looking vaguely like humans while they work those sort of hours…
blue 27 May 2008
Strange when you are working busily and enjoying it, yet get home a bit down and blue. I’d say at the moment I am happy and I am loving working with everyone on Hell’s Pavement (the movie I told you about) but life, and staying ‘up’, is such a delicate balance. I feel a little blue, to be honest. I think it’s simply that I am tired (however fulfilled the film work is making me) and that makes the poor old mind and body get a bit stressed within itself. It magnifies problems and worries. And it doesn’t matter how much I tell myself that a good night’s sleep will sort this out, that good night’s sleep might not be possible. For example, I’ll be getting up at 5.15am tomorrow to be ready to be collected at 6am for work and, unless we finish early, I’ll be on duty till 7pm. Then it’s the journey home which is an hour (minimum) so I’ll be in the door, with tremendous luck, at 8pm. If I go straight to bed then, without doing my blog or catching up with life via email and calls, I have the chance of 9 hours sleep, but that rarely happens and every quarter hour clawed back from there is trebly sorely missed the following morning. This is a heavy week for me so what I have just described is the set-up of every day till Saturday. And within it is eff all time for the novel (I am still scribbling notes and sometimes whole sections and haven’t forsaken it AT ALL but it feels like snatched moments, and unstructured) and I want to give it more. This week is a bitch, really. And I will try to get as much sleep as possible to stave off the blues but, as I say, when you hit an imbalance there is only so much the mind and body can do for you. So I am off to score as many zeds as possible now to be ready to put on a happy face for tomorrow. But I’ll be glad if there’s a tasty break soon so that I can get back to those glorious times when I will write, pet that creature in Dublin… and the cat too (do you see? do you see what I did there?) and streamline the garden in readiness for the builders’ arrival (at which time I think we’ll find the McLynn mind and body will have new ways to eat into the old sleep). I need a long lie down again. Night now x
afraid 26 May 2008
I caught some of a Panorama programme tonight about teens on the net falling prey to all sorts of perverts. It made me wonder about vulnerability. I think anyone with teenage or smaller kids tries to get them savvy to all of that but it’s hard when everything is so accessible and open these days, and you can;t be there 24/7. It’s awful (and unacceptable) to see a childhood taken away or under threat. I worry about other individuals in our society too. It strikes me that my Mum is not getting any younger and she is getting shorter tempered with it, but perhaps the underlying reason is that she is afraid. She is becoming increasingly vulnerable as she slows up. She cannot physically outrun anyone or fight back very hard if threatened. She isn’t up to date with all of the latest technological wizardry – even using an automated bank machine can get her riled. I have been taking this as crankiness but it’s probably much more. I’ll be paying closer attention from now on. I mean it as a compliment when I say she is ageless to me (or no older than 59) but I have to take on board that she’s not able to do some things at all anymore and often unable to do things still within her grasp as well as she would need to to make her confident with them. We owe it to all of our vulnerable people to look out for them and care for them as they need be cared for.
the awful truth 25 May 2008
I have received a terrible confession, one that has shaken me to my boots: Paul lied about the skating and Eurovision. Well, he made it up on the spur of the moment. Still lying, I fear. And so, my dear innocent visitors, disregard that splendid nugget of information, which I so assiduously, nay proudly, passed on – it never happened. I’m going for a little lie down now to recover. I hope he’s happy with what he has done…I suppose he did ‘fess up and that’s something which will stand to him…ish…
further 25 May 2008
It has been pointed out to me that my Antipodean visitors and those of the Orient and the Southern Americas or parts of the African Continent won’t know much about Eurovision either…well, now you all know lots about the 2008 competition, so hurrah!
I’ll say it again – I just give and I give…
wrung out 24 May 2008
Apologies to my American visitors but I have to devote myself to THE event which happened tonight. A highlight of my year always. Yes, it was another year’s worth of Eurovision and I am wrecked. For those of you in the US think American Idol without the decent songs, or performers some of the time.
As you all know I am a gay man living, very happily, in a woman’s body and my devotion to Eurovision is something of a proof. So much so that I almost scheduled the repotting of my (2) orchids to take place during the glorious battle this evening, but I was too busy texting.
I had a great range going throughout the night with stalwarts of the fine and dodgy institution that is Eurovision. My mate Deborah hosted a doo in Liverpool and was in touch from there. She served appropriate snacks for each country – a lot of FAST eating ensued as the contest really moves along at a lick. (She had some trouble with Albania as Wikipedia said the national foods were sheeps’ heads and offal). I told her not to ignore the herring as it will see you through a lot of places.
Some gems emerged – when I wondered if the aul fella with Croatia was actually rappin, my sis in law texted ‘yeah, he’s 75 Cent’. General consensus was Felicity Kendall looked terrible singing for Sweden. There were a few ‘Wot IS that?!’ moments, mostly about actual human beings…and trouble distinguishing between men and women, and men who might once have been women, and vice versa. In other words classic Eurovision fare.
Lots of moonlighting – Eva Longoria performed for Ukraine, it seemed, and Lindsay Lohan for Greece and both did very well, it must be said. And was that Jarvis cocker disguised and singing for France (where he now lives, I believe) with backing vocals from The Magic Numbers? And wasn’t the Serbian entry actually a winner for Norway some years ago when it was performed by the Irish lassie Fionnuala Sherry?
Morto that both Ireland and UK voted for the pirates of Latvia though – I thought that would be the nul pointer. Loved Bosnia-Herzegovina and Azerbaijan. Many strong numbers so it was a great year.
Loved also the set and the lighting – Serbia did a great job… notwithstanding the complete eejit woman outside in the square who greeted us from The Belgrade several times and made no sense anyhow and the two ninnies backstage trying to convince us there was a brilliant party going on there when clearly there was not.
Top nerd moment to my friend Paul who, when i enquired if the Russian entry using an ice-skater was a first, texted back ‘what about Sweden in 1972?’. The man is a machine, a human data base – remarkable.
BUT I think the voting has got boring. Now the music section of the evening is much better – a reverse of how things used to be when the voting was SO exciting the music couldn’t hold a candle to it no matter how good.
Also a veh veh worrying moment when it seemed like Terry Wogan was going to retire….i don’t THINK he did though, did he?
Phew.
Next year, Moscow. Da.